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Danger Zone from the P3P OST



Today's entry: why I hate queer punk bands

No, I don't hate "queer" (don't like that term but not my place to say anything) people. I don't hate punks or punk music. I actually like punk subculture and music a lot. What I can't stand is middle-class white men with MPs for parents telling me from their McMansions that it's "morally and ethically okay to steal from Tescos" much to the applause of their similarly white, male, middle class audience. I am talking about the band Cheap Dirty Horse. Why? After I challenged their supposed queerness and punkness (that's so not a word but whatever) they blocked me on Instagram! Imagine being a band account and blocking someone online holy cheeseballs. Anyways, I know I sound deranged but just hear me out.

I've been seeing their music in my feed for a while because the algorithm has sorely miscalculated and thinks I would like their content. I don't. Just like everyone else whose gotten it in their feed, I find it grating. It's been done. You're a "queer" "punk" band comprised of straight, white, middle-class males? Shocker. Instead of commenting the usual "this music is shit" (it really fucking is) I decided to comment something more smarmy. I jokingly threatened to steal the lead singer's "DIY oestrogen" because, well, it's ridiculous but reflects their message back onto them; if we're going to be all progressive and math out the power + privilege, I'm far more oppressed than any of them. I'm white, yes, but I'm a woman, depressed, chronically ill, a Gypsy, and have previously been a sex worker. Does that mean it's okay for me to steal from them? Well, they replied with a sarky "am I your employer? Am I a Tescos?" to which I said that the lead singer looks like his parents are MPs and I do not feel bad for him.

I shouldn't have but I decided to write all this stuff out, like how I'm far more oppressed, how people accuse or suspect me of theft due to my ethnicity, how people can say what they want about Gypsies in the U.K. because it's just kind of an accepted racism. I've sold myself to make rent, never stolen from a shop, but even if I did I would be stealing to survive; you aren't cool for stealing shitty make-up from Boots because it's reaffirming. Being punk doesn't mean being able to get away with petty theft and feel a cheap thrill. That's another thing, right, being able to steal. Of course the white man can sing that it's "morally and ethically" okay to shoplift from his McMansion, he's never had to actually bear the stress and guilt of it. He's never had to feed his family with stolen goods. He's never been followed around a shop because he was a few shades too dark. That actually happened to me and my Mum. I remember this. She took my hand and said "you see that security feller? He's following us. No don't look, bug. He's following us" because even though she's only tan, say, maybe a quarter Indian at best she was deemed "non-white" and a threat. None of the members of Cheap Dirty Horse have ever, or will ever, feel that fucking shame because LOOK AT THEIR SPOTIFY. THEY'RE ALL WHITE MEN. To the lead singer, mate: you steal make-up from Boots because you know you can get away with it, I stole period pads from Boots because the alternative was to bleed into the same knickers I've had since I was 8.

Anyways, after a few hours, absolute radio silence. That shut them up. I scoff. Today I saw something that reminded me, hey, whatever happened? Did they reply? Will this become a conversation? FUck no. Blocked.

After I finished my last exam I ran over to one of my classmates because he's a real nice guy and I wanted to chat. Before we entered the exam hall I let him have a nosey at my notes, why not, y'know, we're all going to the chop shop right? Anyways, he pauses at one point and tells me that he thought that when I stood up to the students trying to rush our lecturer into finishing early so they could have the room - that was punk. I felt embarassed, a little, because like, well, I'm not punk. I'm a chronic shit-talker but I could never back it up. However, being told that I was punk because I stood up to someone acting unjust felt good, and isn't that what being punk is? Maybe I'm wrong, feel free to call me out, but I think that being punk means standing up to an unjust system. Being punk is a form of rebellion. Yes, Tescos and Waitrose and all those big brands are unjust and exploit their workers, of course, but does shoplifting really do anything to stop them? Being punk is unionising. Being punk is saying fuck you to unpaid overtime. Being punk doesn't mean just going "on the rob" and doing more harm to the already overworked and underpaid sods stocking the shelves and bearing the brunt of their bosses belligerence. These are people trying to get by. Don't make their job any more difficult by stealing shit you don't need. You aren't allowed to act like a thundercunt because you decided to transition into female oppression. You will never know what it's like. This is what I can't stand about bands like Cheap Dirty Horse, it is always these beacons of privilege cosplaying as the oppressed and using it as a label to get hits in the algorithm hell. The only reason the words "queer" and "punk" are in their Instagram bio and other social media is because it gets them more hits and people see it and go, unthinkingly, hey, these people are alternative and different; for some people that automatically means "good" which is a whole 'nother issue.

Sorry if this was poorly written and downright deranged. I just can't stand sell-outs. I can't stand posers. People pretending to be what they're not, never will be, just to make a quick buck or seem more interesting, that drives me up a wall. Nowadays people don't pretend to just be emo or self-harm or some shit, they're actually pretending to be minorities and vicitms of a system, when in reality I bet the people behind these bands have families who've constructed the hell we lumpenproles live in. I've met lots of people who seem oppressed, or normal, like, going through the same stuff as us, but their parents turn out to be idk working for the Cambodian government, Lib Dem MPs, homeowners in a fancy borough, but I don't hate them for that because those lads never pretended they were anything but them. They just played the music they like. That's what music should be. You play for you, not some political fad (kid you not, Cheap Dirty Horse has a song called "P.R.O.T.E.C.T.T.R.A.N.S.K.I.D.S."), not for some algorithmn to pick up on and make trend for a week or two, just, fuck, do your best? The fucking song is so shit I wanna have a sulphuric acid enema.

That's it. Thanks for reading. You deserve a medal for it.